Maybe, Someday, Soon?
I wrote a poem to try and verbalise my thoughts following a year since my operation. I have this sort of feeling, A rumble in my gut. I know someday it will happen, Yet I am always saying but... But what if they do not like me, But what if they say not you? But what if we never have a family, But what if it is forever just us two? But what if I never become a mum, But what if I stay this sad? But what if I always feel completely numb, But what if my thoughts remain so bad? But what if I cannot bare to smile, But what if I struggle to think straight? But what if I am riddled with anxiety for a while, But what if I am always in a body I truly hate? I have this sort of feeling, A rumble in my gut. I know someday it will happen, Yet I am always saying but... But what if there is hope, around this dark and twisty bend, But what if one day, my broken heart will mend? But what if there is a child, waiting for my hand, But what if this was how my life, was always ...